Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
