Kiss
Puke
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
