I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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