You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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