mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
