you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
