Nicole vs. Life
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
