guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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