just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
