If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
