So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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