I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
