Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
