You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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