you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i think my cat just said my name.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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