not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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