I can tuck mytits in my pants
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
