i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize