stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
