Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
