No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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