You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
