so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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