I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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