Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize