rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
