So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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