Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
