If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
