"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's never too late to be topless.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
