Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
