just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
