In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
