Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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