Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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