He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
