Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Randomize
