ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
