I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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