where am i from again
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
