explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
