Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
