I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
