Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
