just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
