I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
