but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize