Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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