We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
