saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you win again, gameday.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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