She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
