Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
