You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
