Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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