Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
True strength comes from lack of pants
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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