I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
this is an emotional support booty call
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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