He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
