escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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