Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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