I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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