Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
