and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
