Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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