That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize