I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
