Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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