Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize